Alchemy of the Soul
by CelticKawaii
Summary: When the kishin's madness tears a hole in the fabric of space, Ed is sent through the Gate's doors into Death City. Now in a world completely new to him, can he hope to survive this new life? And with two homunculi on the loose, what could unfold?
1. Chapter 1

**Before we get on with this, I just want to clear a few things up: this takes place in the manga/Brotherhood version of Fullmetal Alchemist and the anime version of Soul Eater. I already know that Chrona's gender was never mentioned in canon, but I'll just assume he's a boy. Don't bash me about it. **

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing! Fullmetal Alchemist and Soul Eater belong to their respective creators. If I did own them, I'd be so happy! But I don't. I own a computer, my account, and...Mr. Corner. If you think I own anything, then you're freakin' nuts!**

**One more thing: I'll be switching off between Japanese and English names/honorifics/etc. It's my fanfic and I'll use too much Japanese if I want to! **

**Warnings: None really. Maybe later on, but for now, it's fairly safe. Except for the whole 'kishin screwing up the fabric of space-time' thing.**

* * *

><p><strong>The Kishin is Revived:<br>The Door of Truth is Ripping Open?**

All they could do was watch the two battle it out - Shinigami-sama against the kishin Asura. The fight itself was spectacular, since none of the academy students had seen Shinigami get angry before. Maka stared up at the sky in bewilderment, with Soul's jaw pretty much on the ground.

"You're not going anywhere, Asura!" growled Lord Death as he pinned Asura to the ground. After being crushed under the shield, the kishin shoved it off and sprang into the air. Above the sky spit off flashes and bursts of light like fireworks, while below the city was torn up and full of open-mouthed spectators, many of them academy students. While the moon grinned maniacally behind the battle, Asura seemed to be inching away from Death with each blow. Now he was coming in to attack head-on, only being stopped by Shinigami's Soul Shield. Then it cracked...cracked again...and shattered, breaking part of Lord Death's mask in the process.

"You bastard!" Death cried, sending him another attack. Just then, Asura did something purely unexpected. He shot his wavelength at the sky itself. Not in any particular direction, not anywhere near Shinigami, but at the air. "Let's see how you like this!" Asura cried, as the blow tore open a hole from which a bright white beam of light poured out.

"What was that?" Maka gasped.

"I don't know," said Soul. "But it doesn't look good,"

"He's ripping a hole in the fabric of space," said Sid. "At this rate, the Madness would spread to another dimention,"

* * *

><p>"Free!" Eruka cried. "What's going on!"<p>

"I don't know!" he answered as the walls around them started shaking and crumbling. The whole room was on the verge of collapse, it seemed. They had almost forgotten why they were here, and that they were the ones who had awakened the kishin Asura. What went wrong?

Suddenly, an ear-splitting noise tore through the place, like the sound of something ripping or shattering. Everyone held their ears and writhed on the floor from the shockwaves, as a split in...thin air...grew wider and wider. Then, the witch and the werewolf were pulled through it before the tear finally locked shut.

"What was that thing?" asked Tsubaki as she knelt by an unconcious Black*Star.

"I'm not sure," answered Death the Kid as the Thompson sisters transformed back into their human forms. "but it could very well be that the kishin has distorted reality,"

Patty giggled as she usually did at a given time, while Liz turned to her meister and asked "So what does that mean for those two? They just got pulled in and disappeared,"

"I don't know," he said. "but all I do know is that if we don't get out of here, we might end up in the same place,"

* * *

><p>"Ow, cut it out, stop it!"<p>

"Screw you! That dumb girl turned me into a muppet!"

"But why do you have to take it out on me?"

"Because I can!"

Ragnarok had been beating on his meister for almost a half hour now, and Chrona was hoping he'd eventually settle down or at least tire out. It didn't seem like that would happen any time soon though.

"Please stop! You're hurting me!"

"Good!"

Suddenly, the shockwaves from downstairs caught their attention. It wasn't as bad as the floor it was coming from, but it was enough to knock the Demon Swordsman to the ground. Ragnarok was at least distracted enough to leave Chrona alone for a minute, much to his relief, but there was still the question of what that all came from.

"What was that?" Chrona asked.

"Like I'd know," Ragnarok scoffed. "They're probably getting eaten up by the kishin right now," he laughed wickedly.

"Oh no, that can't be it,"

"It is,"

"How do you know?"

"I'm hoping,"

"That's terrible!"

"Shut you're mouth you damn Nancy!"

* * *

><p>"What the hell's happening?" Edward whipped his head around to see what was going on. That feeling, he had known it before, and now it was coming up again. Was the Gate really about to open? No, not in a place like this, not when he was here at Laboratory 5...unless someone was opening the Gate here.<p>

"What's going on here?" Ed exclaimed, looking for whoever opened up the door, but nobody answered. The room flashed with purple and red lightning, and pretty soon, Ed felt himself being sucked into it.

Once again, he was standing in front of that same set of doors surrounded by a pure white space. Why was this happening again? Suddenly the Doors flew open, and Ed felt himself being sucked into them with skin-shredding force. "Al!" he screamed. "Alphonse! No! I won't leave you behind! NOOOO!"

He was falling, tumbling through the air, not knowing up from down in the hellish vertigo. All he could think of was his little brother, how he'd fare without him, or if he would ever see him again. This couldn't be happening, he thought. It doesn't make any sense. How could I be in this here? Now? Why? Then all at once, his world went black.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, that's it for this chapter. Uh-oh, cliff-hanger! What's gonna happen to Ed? Or Eruka and Free? If you review, I promise you'll find out!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, I'm really sorry the first chapter was short (All puns aside). I didn't have much time to write, and I wanted to get this out fast...yeah. So now Ed's in Death City, Eruka and Free are in Central...what could possibly go wrong?**

**Warnings: Most likely anyone who calls Ed short. Oh, and **

* * *

><p><strong>Welcome to Death City:<br>An Alchemist at the DWMA?**

The first thing Ed noticed when he awoke was a dull, throbbing pain in the back of his head. He tried to recall what had happened and how he'd ended up in a hospital bed, but the memories were fuzzy at first...he knew he'd tried to sneak into Lab 5, that he'd found the transmutation circle in the center of that room, and without warning, had been pulled through the Gate. Then the falling, and finally blacking out after feeling a sharp blow to the head. _That explains the headache_, he thought, _but how am I_ here?

"So this is the kid they found konked out in a dumpster, huh?"

"Ha ha, what was he doing in a dumpster! That little blond kid's funny!"

Ed jolted up in bed. "Hey who the hell are you calling a half-pint bean-sprout pipsqueak you jerk?"

"Uh, I guess he's awake then," said Liz. "Try to take it easy there, okay? You took a pretty hard fall last night,"

"What? Wait...you said you found me in a dumpster?"

"Yeah, you must have fallen through the hole in the sky last night,"

"What are you talking about?"

"Wow, you must've hit your head really hard then!" Patty giggled. "The kishin tore a hole in the sky and it ripped through reality. And then you fell out of the sky from your world and landed in the dumpster. And now you're here!"

Ed was even more confused now. "Am I dreaming or something?" he asked.

Patty cracked up while Liz tried to explain. "Sorry to say this, but no. You're in another world altogether, so I guess this place might take some getting used to,"

* * *

><p>"About the Demon Sword," said Sid as he stood in front of Shinigami-sama's mirror. "He's been taken into the school's custody, but I think you should make the decision of how he's dealt with,"<p>

"I guess I should," Lord Death agreed, "But there's something odd about the Demon Sword,"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the Demon Sword Ragnarok has devoured a great deal of human souls, so he should have been well on his way to becoming a kishin. As it would turn out, this is far from being the case,"

"What do you mean,"

"I'm not sure how, but something seems to have purified the Demon Sword recently. What do you think?"

"I'm not sure, but don't you think we should hold him accountable for his actions? I understand he's only a child and was under the control of a witch, but that still doesn't take away what he's done. I think we should give him the same severe punishment as usual, don't you agree?"

"Hmmm..." Death tilted his head to the side before finally answering "I dunno, so I think I'll just put it off. We'll deal with it later,"

_Of course you would,_ Sid thought. Then he said, "And what about the kid we found last night?"

"The one in the infirmary? Yes, I've thought it over and decided that if he wants he can enroll as a temporary student here at the academy,"

"Are...are you sure?"

"Yeah, really, why not?" said Death. "There's no pressure for him, but I figure he'll gain a new experience through coming here. It'll help him adjust to life in Death City,"

"Right," said Sid. "Are we even sure just where he's from?"

"Yes, I've taken the matter up with Truth-kun," said Shinigami.

"You mean, you know -"

"Oh yeah, we're old aquaintences. We haven't spoken for a while," said Lord Death.

"So doesn't that mean this Truth guy will get him back to where he came from?"

"Sorry, but that's just not how Truth operates," said Shinigami. "He doesn't give free hand-outs to anyone, and these kind of things require some kind of sacrifice. It may be a while before this boy can return home,"

"I see," Sid nodded. "But do you think the boy will be equipped for the academy's style of education? He's certainly not a weapon, and he's not a meister either. For all we know he could be just an ordinary kid,"

"Well, about that," Shinigami said, "Truth-kun won't get into detail about it, but from what he tells me this boy we have is far from ordinary. He has exceptional talent for which he's quite renowned in his own realm,"

"Well, that's good to know," said Sid. "But why won't Truth tell you more details,"

"I told you, he's quite the mysterious fellow. He doesn't give things away on a whim," said Death. "He said this boy would be getting a free pass if he gave me too much information on him, so he was pretty vague about the details. The fact remains though, that whatever this new student has to offer, he could very well prove a valuable asset to us here at the DWMA. But we'll just have to wait and see, now won't we?"

* * *

><p>"Soul, what are you doing?" Maka said as her weapon partner dragged her down the hallway. "Lord Death specifically told us to stay put until we fully recovered,"<p>

"So what, I'm not letting you stay inside on such a nice day," Soul replied. Just then, as they were walking towards the infirmary, the door busted open and out came a short blond boy in a jonny.

"What the hell is going on here? You people are crazy!"

"Uh, Soul," said Maka. "Is that the kid they found in the dumpster?"

"I think so," he answered. "I'm guessing he's met Doctor Stein,"

"Hey new guy, calm down," said Black*Star, who walked out of the room close behind him. "And seriously dude, you're not even wearing underpants. You realize you're in a jonny?"

"Oh God no!" Ed covered his backside as his face turned beet red. Patty stood behind him laughing her butt off, while Liz, Kid and Tsubaki just gawked in amazement. "Just tell me what the hell's going on and keep that freak with the screw in his head away from me!"

"See, told you," Soul confirmed. Maka just stared in wonderment. She couldn't believe the week she was having. First with Chrona, then the kishin, and now this kid. What was next?

"If that guy touches my automail one more time, I'll sue for sexual harassment!"

"Okay, just calm down," Maka said, walking up to him.

"Don't you tell me to calm down!"

WHACK! With a hardcover Maka-chop to the head, Ed went down in a second.

"Nice one Maka," said Black*Star. "He tried to strangle me when I called him a midget, you know,"

"I think he really took a hard fall," said Kid. "He seems to be quite disoriented from it all,"

"Maybe we should take him to Lord Death," suggested Maka, "Maybe then he can sort things out here,"

* * *

><p>"So I've decided that for the time being, you can be a student here at the academy," said Shinigami-sama to a still-somewhat-dazed-from-a-Maka-chop Edward Elric. "But the choice is yours. If you don't want to, you don't have to enroll,"<p>

"Well," said Ed, pondering the idea, "I'm not sure how to get back from where I came, and so for now, I guess I might as well do something, right?"

"If it helps, you won't be the only one on a trial enrollment," said Lord Death.

"It might actually help _him,_ actually," said Maka. "He'll feel so much better having you in the same boat,"

"Good to know," Ed nodded. "But do you really think I'm qualified?"

"Oh don't worry about that," said Shinigami. "From what I hear you possess exceptional powers,"

"Wait, how do you know?" Ed asked.

"That's what Truth-kun tells me," Shinigami answered. "He wouldn't get into the details though. You wouldn't mind telling us just what these powers are, would you?"

"Hold on a second - you've seen the Truth?" Ed spat.

"Oh yeah, it's been a while since we last met, but Truth-kun and I go way back,"

"Hey, uh, Lord Death," said Edward, preparing his best puppy-dog eyes. "You wouldn't mind putting a good word in for me, would you? I mean, so I can get my brother's body back, and my arm and leg..."

"You'll need to pay a fee for that, sorry," he answered. Ed was stumped.

"WWHHHHAAA..."

"I can't change his mind once it's made up. I'm sure you'll get your original bodies back, but it will require a sacrifice,"

Ed facefaulted. Black*Star nudged Maka and whispered, "Ya think you should hit him with the book again?"

After he got over the shock of it all, Ed explained who he was and where he came from. "You see, I'm an alchemist," he said, "One of the best, actually. I became state certified when I was twelve, and I've been searching for the Philosopher's Stone so I can get my brother's body back,"

The other students listened in amazement. It was a pretty unusual case; losing his mom, losing his brother's body, attaching Al's soul to a suit of armor, getting the mechanical prosthetics, joining the military at the age of 12, having his level of skill in alchemy...yeah, it was a lot.

After a long moment of silence from everyone, Black*Star finally said, "Whoa,"

"So, uh, now what?" he asked.

"Well, it's just too bad you don't have a weapon," said Death the Kid.

"Well actually, in a way, I kind of already do," Ed demonstrated his skill by transmuting his automail arm into a blade. "Pretty sweet, huh?"

"So you're a _weapon_ too?" asked Soul.

"Um, no, but I'm just creative with what I've got,"

"That may be so, but you don't have a weapon in the sense that the academy knows it," Shinigami pointed out. "Still, your alchemy would serve as quite formidable in a fight,"

"I just don't get the concept of how people can transform their entire bodies into objects without defying the laws of Equivalent Exchange," Ed said, scratching his head. "It just doesn't add up here,"

"Things work differently in this world, that's all," said Kid. "We're still not sure just _how_ you can rearrange matter with your alchemy,"

"True...true..." sighed Ed. "It still bugs me though,"

"Some things just can't be explained," Maka said. "That's just how it is,"

"That's not true. Everything can be explained if it's analyzed long enough," Ed argued.

"He's just not gonna get it, is he?" Soul mumbled to his meister.

"I'm guessing not," she mumbled back.

* * *

><p><strong>So, there you go. LOL, Stein wanted to disect Ed's automail! XD (You know he'd want to if he saw it!) I thought about how Ed would react in Death City, and it hit me that he'd rack his brain with all the stuff in that 'verse that's powered by magic. You know Ed, being a scientist, wouldn't just accept anything just being...he'd have to theorize why and what makes it work and whatever, so it'd be funny watching him handle it all. Oh boy, just wait 'till he meets Chrona...not sure how it'll go, but we'll see. Please review!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Third chapter is up! I'm sorry if the last two chapters are short, but I had to write them up in a limited time, so there you go. Also, (don't know if you're reading this right now) for all my FME and FUOT readers, I'll work on my other stories as soon as the fifth chapter comes out for this one. And...it just occured to me that I now have 8 stories written. 8!**

**Death the Kid would: Yes! That's absolutely wonderful!**

**Just wait till I have my ninth story published!**

**Death the Kid: NOOOOOO!**

***snickers***

**Ed: Remember to review!  
><strong>

**Oh yeah, and for those of you still hung up on the 'Chrona's gender issue,' I just assume he's a boy, but really he can be either one. I'll try to make it so that if you just switched out the pronouns in your head, it wouldn't change the story!  
><strong>

**WARNINGS: If anything bad happens, it's probably going to come from Ragnarok. Or Stein. **

* * *

><p><strong>Fish out of Water: Did Someone Call Me a Pipsqueak?<strong>

_Somewhere in Dublith..._

"Where are we?" Eruka whispered as she peeked out from behind an alley way. This place was nothing like Death City, and she just hoped and prayed that these people were nice and wouldn't want to kill witches and werewolves.

"Beats me," shrugged Free. "Do you really have to stay in frog-mode like that? I think we're fine here,"

"Are you kidding? I've still got Soul Protect on right now,"

"You're a little paranoid,"

The two of them didn't know exactly what to do now. Okay, so Medusa's dead, we're in an alternate universe, and these people are just...weird. Free didn't even bother with Soul Protect, since nobody seemed to care about either of them; there was just the issue that they weren't sure just what to do. How long should they stay here, before someone found them anyway? There was a lot of noise coming from a few blocks up the street, like someone was having a party at the nearest pub.

Eruka sighed. "I guess it's no use just hiding here. We might as well go check out this town, or something, right?"

"Think we should hit that party?" Free asked.

"You know what? We should! After all, Medusa's dead, we're in an alternate universe, and no one's seen us without Soul protect on. I say let's go!" And with that, Eruka turned back into her human form and strolled down the street, without fear.

* * *

><p>"So now we have two new students, the Demon Swordsman and the Fullmetal Alchemist," pondered Stein. "It's quite the week we're having here,"<p>

Spirit nodded. "Yeah, I don't know how he'll work out the issue of not being a meister though," he pointed out.

"It's fine, he'll just be working around the concept of how a soul works and incorporate it into his knowledge of alchemy,"

"Do you really think it's that simple?"

"No," Stein said flatly. "And yes. It depends on him and how souls work in his world I suppose. But really, they're not much different even in his own universe. It's mostly a matter of how much he's willing to accept,"

"What do you mean, 'accept'?"

"He comes from a world that runs on a type of functional magic. The way it works has a more logical pattern than it does here, so everything he runs into is something entirely new to him. Essentially, his mind runs on scientific evidence."

"Well, that explains how he's still coming up with a theory for how magic weapons transform," said Spirit. "And why he freaked out when he saw the sun,"

"He's still working out the issue of the candles too," Stein added.

"Yeah, but his theory for the screw in your head takes the cake!" Spirit giggled. "Although, there's something I wanted to talk to you about Stein," he said, getting serious now. "You really shouldn't be trying to dissect the kid just to examine his prosthetics,"

Stein frowned. "The design is so unique. I just couldn't help wondering how it worked so well,"

"Yeah, I know, but he still needs them,"

"Okay, fine, I won't dissect him. You don't have to tell me that," Stein replied tersly.

"I think I do," Spirit sighed.

* * *

><p>"So what's the deal with this Crona kid anyway?" Ed asked Soul, Maka leading the two ahead.<p>

"Well, he's, uh...different. You might be weirded out by him,"

"'Weirded out'?" Ed said, looking over at Soul. "I just fell out of the sky, one of our teachers is a zombie, some guy with a giant screw in his head wanted to dissect my automail, half this school is weapons, and the Grim Reaper just told me he's friends with the Truth. I really don't think you can surprise me after that!"

Soul raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't be too sure,"

Ed looked up at the sun. It was just plain weird here - it had the creepiest smile - he wondered how he'd get used to a place like this. He was still theorizing a scientific explanation for magic weapons through alchemy, but he wasn't quite done figuring out the kinks in the matter. Oh well, he thought, letting out a sigh. I guess it'll have to wait. And with that, he ran up to keep up with Maka's pace.

* * *

><p>Back in Central City, after a long night of waiting for the Fullmetal boy to show up, Lust returned to Father with some bad news.<p>

"Father, I'm not sure what happened last night, but all I can tell you is that we lost sight of Fullmetal. And Envy's missing,"

"Envy I could care less about," said Father. "But we need to find out where the boy went. I can't afford the loss of another sacrifice,"

Lust sighed. Envy had once complained that Father didn't give two craps* about him. As it turned out, he was right. Not that she fully blamed Father...

"Yes, it happened due to a strange sighting at the Fifth Laboratory," she continued. "It was like some tear in reality. I noticed the transmutation circle in the center of the room was glowing, like someone was opening the Gate,"

"Opening the Gate, you say?"

"That's not all," came a new voice. Several long, tentacle-like shadows peeked out from a corner of the room. "I looked everywhere, and Greed's missing too,"

"This is truly an unusual thing," Father commented. _Yeah, no kidding!_ thought Pride, trying not to roll his eyes at someone pointing out the obvious.

"At least with him out of the way, we can move forward with our plan," Pride pointed out.

"Not until we have the boy!" Father countered.

"Once we have him though..."

Just above them, at Central City Headquarters, Alphonse Elric was waiting to hear news of what had happened to his brother.

"Alphonse," came Maria Ross, a solemn look on her face. "We searched everywhere, and we found no trace of Ed,"

If he had the ability to cry, he'd have let out a flood at that moment. _Nii'san can't be dead!_ Alphonse thought. _If he was, they'd have found a body, or something...right? Yes, of course, so he's still alive! But if that's true, then where could he be? He'd turn up somewhere, wouldn't he? It's just not like him to go missing like this! _

"We've been hearing about a strange happening from the witnesses," Brosh added in. "They said they saw a bright blue light coming from the Fifth Lab, right?"

"Blue light?"

"You didn't see it?"

"No, I did, just...it sounds like it would be from alchemy," Alphonse thought that this was all getting stranger by the minute.

Another officer added in "And there were reports of a party going on in downtown Dublith over at the Devil's Nest,"

"Huh?" Everyone stared at him sideways.

"Well, there were,"

Alphonse facepalmed. He was having quite the time, just hoping that wherever Ed had gone to, he hadn't managed to get himself killed. It wasn't that he couldn't handle himself, it was just that he usually got someone to hate him enough to want to kill him...

* * *

><p>"So I finally get to see Chrona?" Maka's eyes lit up. As she walked down the DWMA's guest hall with Sid and Ed, there came the sound of footsteps and someone moaning about not knowing which way to go.<p>

"I'm so lost here, where am I supposed to..." the woman trailed off as Ed and the others finally saw her. "Sid! It's you!" She came running over at top speed, relieved that she'd finally found someone.

"I was so lost down here! I didn't know which way was which!"

"But, you used to go to this school too Marie," Sid pointed out. Ed looked over at Maka, and remembered what Soul said to him earlier. Okay, he wasn't weirded out just yet, but the people here were a little strange. _I'll get used to it,_ he thought. He was wrong.

When they finally reached his door, Maka knocked on it a few times saying "Coming in," She stepped in the room and looked around. "What? Where is he?"

"Maka," came a faint voice. Maka turned to see Chrona...curled up in the corner.

"Uh...Chrona? What are you doing in there?"

"I feel safer over here with Mr. Corner,"

_He...gave it a nickname?_ Ed was already starting to see what Soul was saying.

"Come on out of there, you look like someone gave you a time out!" Maka chuckled. Chrona stood up, but was still a little skiddish.

"You know I'm really happy to have you as a friend, Chrona," Maka reached out her hand for him, and he tapped it with his finger.

"Yeah," he breathed, cheering up a bit.

"Hey there," Marie stepped in waving. Ed followed behind her.

"And this is Miss Marie," Maka introduced. "And this is Edward. He's new here too,"

"We all are, really," Marie said. "I'm new as a teacher, and Ed here is new to this school too, so we're in the same boat, really,"

"Good thinking! Making him feel like he's not alone! Nice one Marie!" Sid said.

"I-it's the blue man again! He scares me!" and so, Chrona was once again curled back into Mr. Corner.

Marie turned to Sid and said "Uh, Sid, I think you should stay out here, at least for now. Sorry,"

"Oh boy," said Ed, looking at Maka. "Hey, I think you'll be fine here, really," he said, trying to cheer Chrona up. It was pretty bad when he gave the corner a nickname. _What sort of things did this kid go through?_ Ed wondered.

"Yeah, well I wouldn't be getting to cocky if I were you, dumb humans!" suddenly, a small burst of black spurted through Chrona's back, and turned into some kind of muppet-thing.

Ed looked back over at Maka, puzzled. "Hey there, mini-Ragnarok," Maka said to the thing.

"Aw, what is that thing? It's so cute!" Marie said. Ed kind of thought so too, except the look on Chrona's face made him think something about this black thing wasn't good.

"What the hell did you do to me, you cow?" Ragnarok shouted at Maka.

"What's up with that muppet-thing?" Ed asked Maka.

"Who the hell are you callin' a muppet, pipsqueak?"

"PIPSQUEAK?"

"That's right shorty! What are you, 4'10''? I didn't know they let midgets like you join in!"

"You wanna call me a bean-sized runt of a pipsqueak?" Ed started attacking Ragnarok, and the two started going at it, laying punches on each other with Chrona stuck in the middle.

"Yeah, and you hit like a little girl too, chibi!"

"Call me chibi one more time, and I'll shove your hands in your eyeballs!"

"Haha! Really? I'd like to see ya try!"

"Stop it!" Chrona wailed. "Please stop! Ragnarok, please, you're hurting me!"

WHAM!

After everyone had recovered from being Maka-chopped, they got over that disaster and headed to their first class.

Ed found Soul down the hall and walked up to him. This was _after_ Maka had explained to him the whole dynamics of Ragnarok being Chrona's blood, so his face was simply priceless.

"So, did you meet him?"

"You were right Soul," Ed said. "That kid is weird,"

Soul snickered. "Told you,"

"I feel bad though. He seems really mopey all the time, I wonder what happened to make him like that,"

"It's a long story," Soul said.

"Well, I'm assuming part of it has to do with the little black cussing muppet that pops out of his back here and there. That thing's a real jerk!"

"Well, yeah, it's that too,"

"Well, I gotta get to the next class. Maybe I'll finally figure out how the sun works here,"

"Huh?"

"The sun! It's just weird,"

"Oh, yeah, I guess," Soul shrugged. He didn't really think about it.

"Does it just hang there in the sky like that? I mean, is it like, actually alive? Or is it some illusion or something?"

"Uh, I dunno,"

"Yeah, I don't think I'll ever get used to this place," Ed facepalmed.

* * *

><p><strong>And so, that is chapter 3! Ed's so confused, Stein needs to stay away from Ed, and it looks like Free and Eruka are going to a party! And uh, Envy's in the SE universe. Wonder what might happen...<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**I finally got my 9th story out!**

**Death the Kid: *sniff* Why? Why did you have to do this? There was a perfectly symmetrical number of stories you had up...**

**...Of course, I got rid of that one because no one was reviewing it! *glares***

**Death the Kid: You did?**

**Uh-huh  
><strong>

**Death the Kid: Yes! Thank you! Thank you so much! *glomp*  
><strong>

**Well, uh, guess that means I'll be working on those stories. Oy! Anyway, I've tried to bust this out as fast as possible, and squeezing in some of the stuff that's supposed to happen, but it's hard between school and parents who don't know I'm here...well, you get the idea. Anyways, for those of you who are wondering, when I said 'two craps' in the last chapter and put in a *, and then forgot to explain the reason I said craps (and the *), I was going to say that Envy said something a little different from 'craps'...but this is rated T, and if he said anything else, I'd have to change the rating. I'm too lazy to do that.**

**WARNINGS: Mention of alcohol, intoxication (obviously), and some other stuff. Like, well, Giriko and Envy. Just them...you'll see.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>We're in This Together: Edward Makes a Deal with Chrona?<strong>

It had been one heck of a wild party. The Devil's Nest was still cluttered with random confetti here and there, glitter in some places, and even a shattered strobe light from when a drunken party-goer had attacked it with a half-empty beer bottle. Somewhere in the cluttered and sobering room, Eruka and Free were just waking up.

"F-free?" Eruka groaned.

"Yeah,"

"Wh-what happened to my dress?"

Free whipped his head around to see that yes, Eruka was in fact missing her dress. Luckily, she had her shirt on (that she wore underneath), but other than that and leggings and pumpkin panties, that was about it. Even her hat was missing!

"Uh, well," he began, not really thinking she'd want to know how it happened. "You got drunk, and took it off,"

"WHAT?"

"I think it's over there," he pointed across the room where it was hanging...from a lighting fixture.

"Oh no!" she said, holding her head. "What did I do?"

"Well, after that, you threw your hat into the crowd, then crowd-surfed across the bar, and I think I saw you kiss this one chick..."

"No..." Eruka's head hit the floor as she died a little inside. "Is that all?"

"Not really. Then you took your bottle and smashed in a strobe light, tadpole-bombed a building, bricked a car and flashed a few people,"

"WHAT?"

"And then you passed out,"

"Ugh! Not so loud!" she held her head from the pain. Then again, part of it was from the horrible revelation of what happened last night. She felt the top of her head - her hair was a mess - and realized "Where'd...what happened to my hat?"

"I dunno," Free shrugged. "Someone caught it when you threw it,"

"Free, how come you didn't stop me? I had to be really..."

He shrugged. "You only had half a beer,"

Eruka facepalmed. "And you're perfectly fine?"

"I guess," he shrugged.

"My luck...ribbit," she groaned.

"What's with the pumpkin panties? Just wondering,"

"It's an essential part of every witch's wardrobe," she explained. "I...wait a minute. I'm missing a shoe!"

At this point, Free started cracking up.

* * *

><p>"Okay, so I finally figured out how weapon partners can change form,"<p>

Soul looked at the short blond kid sideways. "This should be good," Black*Star muttered to him.

"Alright, I took into account the chemical composition of the average human body," Ed began, "and since the average human has around 5.4% metallic particles by mass*, all you need to do is convert that into the form of a weapon of your own choosing,"

The other two stared at him for a moment. "What?" was all Soul could come up with to say. Finally, they both facepalmed. Not too long after that, Maka Albarn was calling Ed and Soul into one of the nearby classrooms with the news that Chrona had just finished a poem.

"This oughtta be good," Soul chuckled as the two of them followed her in. Ed watched Maka and Marie read it together, while Soul just smirked and rolled his eyes. The next thing he knew, the two of them shrunk into a corner wishing they were never born.

"What the..."

"Huh?"

"Hiuh guys!" Black*Star came bounding in, practically kicking down the door. "What are you doing inside while it's such a nice day?" he looked over at Maka and Marie in the corner before finally going on "Oh well, I guess it's easy to get mopey without the great Black*Star around! But now that I'm here, the sun has come out from behind the clouds,"

Ed facepalmed. Soul got up and handed Black*Star Chrona's poem. "Here," he said "Read this,"

There was a few minutes of quiet while the egomaniac read to himself, and then he too, sulked into the corner to join Marie and Maka, saying to himself that he wished he was never born.

Ed and Soul looked at each other. "What the hell could be so bad about a stupid poem?" they asked each other. By now, Chrona had joined the emo conga line** as well, and Soul decided to find out just what was so horrible about this poem as to make the normally upbeat and energetic Black*Star crawl into Mr. Corner. All of a sudden, Soul was joining the line.

"What?" Ed picked it up, and read it to himself. Somewhere between that one stanza of how life was cold but blood was warm and something to do with sleeping in the snow(1), Ed was almost ready to die. He huddled in the corner, saying to himself "I wish I'd never been born,"

"I wish I'd never come back to life,"

"What the hell? Sid? How'd you get here?"

* * *

><p>"So, you're new to this place, eh?"<p>

Envy wasn't planning on being asked that question, but he was nonetheless looking for someone who looked like they'd be an advantage to him. This Giriko guy said he was an enchanter, or something of that nature, but whatever he meant by that sounded good enough. He might prove useful later on.

"Yeah," he said, trying to look innocent. He was doing his best in the guise of a cute girl, because cute girls attract less attention than...well, than he would in his usual form. "Like, when the portal between my world and yours sucked me in here or whatever," he tried to look unassuming, but it was a little pointless when you've already told the guy you're a shapeshifter."But in any case, I'm looking for a kid named Edward Elric. Short, blonde, bad attitude, has an innate ability called alchemy..."

"Listen, I've got my own agenda, but he sounds like quite the valuable resource. We might use him later on,"

"Mm-hm," Envy really wanted to get back to the universe he came from, but figured that for now, he could have some fun here. "I'm gonna be honest here, Giriko. I care about the plan and all, but at the end of the day, watching pathetic humans suffer is what I live for. Don't care who it is, they're all the same to me; weak, useless pathetic insects, and making chaos among them is the real reason I do anything,"

"My kind of guy,"

"Really then?"

"Wanna see the golem I made for myself?"

"Why not? I've got time," and with that, Envy assumed his usual form.

"Okay, seriously? Are you a guy or a girl?"

"Take your pick. You think I know,"

* * *

><p>Ed knew he'd have to do this. If he didn't, what would the poor kid do, right? Besides, Maka told him to help him out, and really, he had no idea it would be this hard. Then again, this whole world was more than he bargained for, but it didn't change the reality...or it did, if he looked at the sun. In any case, he spotted him down the hall - tall, lanky figure in black, forever messy hair that was probably due to the "blood muppet" ruffling it nonstop, permanent depressed look that was as sad as it was scared. There he was, and this was Ed's chance.<p>

"Hey, Chrona,"

He turned to see Ed walking toward him in the hall. He came up to him and smiled. "How's it been so far on your first day?"

"Um, it's...it's okay, I guess. I mean, I don't know about this place really...I don't know how to deal with it all..."

"Look, you're not alone. It's all new to me too,"

"I...it is?"

"Yeah," he said. "I'm not even_ from_ this world, remember? So if anything, you've got a better shot of fitting in than I do,"

"R-really?"

"Yes, really,"

"Uh...so, you're -"

"Listen, Chrona," Ed sighed, thinking about what he'd say next. "Look, there's a lot for me to get used to here, and by the looks of it, you're pretty nervous yourself, right? So I'll tell you what; we'll make a deal to look out for each other,"

"Huh?"

"You know, I help you get through this, you help me," Ed said, though he couldn't really imagine Chrona helping him much. "We're in this together, alright?"

At that, Chrona's face lit up a bit. He smiled. "Yeah, okay,"

"We'll shake on it," he said, extending his hand. Chrona took it, a little nervously, and they shook on their new pact. It was funny really, that for Edward, this new kid kind of reminded him of his little brother - Chrona was easily a head taller than him, but the way he hid behind Maka like a terrified five-year-old (and really his insecurity in general) turned on the big brother side of Ed, if it didn't flat-out annoy him. He was in favor of Soul's idea, that this kid needed a kick in the pants to suck it up and deal with it, whether he knew how to or not. Then again, Ed didn't know how to deal with a lot of things in this place - they had that much in common.

* * *

><p>* my estimate, actually. I looked it up on Wikipedia and added up the amount, so it might be off. :P<br>** "emo conga line" is what I called it when everyone was curled up in the corner wishing they'd never been born. Seriously, they were in a line!  
>(1) The part about life being cold and blood being warm was either from "A Dark Lifestyle" or "Chrona's Poetry," and the whole "sleeping in the snow" thing was a metaphor from a poemsong I wrote a long time ago (never finished), that went something like "my life is like a trainwreck/it's hit an all time low/so for tonight, in winter white/I'll fall asleep in the snow," since that was pretty depressing. I imagine Chrona was probably much sadder than that, but that was the best I could think of. XD

* * *

><p><strong>There it is, the next chapter. Yay, I'm happy it came out longer than the other ones! I had a lot of fun writing the part where Eruka had a hangover...poor Eruka! XD After writing this story and coming up with ideas for the next chapters, I kid you not, the whole thing with Ed and Chrona just grew on me. I see them more as friends, but I still like them together! And as for Envy and Giriko...yes, those two would get along so well together, just because they're both murderous psychopaths with pent-up bloodlust! Plus, they're just creepy as a pairing. Anyways, please review!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry it's been forever and a half since the last update...and, by the way, I'm rethinking the whole "Chrona is a boy" thing...just way too many intersex/gender-related jokes I'd be missing out on, and since there's already Envy...yeah. But I'll still use male pronouns, because the English language is only good for so much, and I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH PRONOUN TROUBLE! So yeah...**

**Anyway, what's weird is that I have tons of great ideas for villain team-ups and hero team-ups and fight scenes and plot twists...and somehow, I don't have a clue how to come up with the next chapter. So that's why this one might feel kind of like it's last minute. But on the plus side: there's a huge plot twist toward the end of this chapter involving Medusa! **

* * *

><p><strong>Return of the Snake: Medusa's Found a New Body?<strong>

"Did you see the snake in the sky too, mommy?" asked Rachel as she skipped along side her mother.

"It was only a cloud...but yes, it sure did look like a snake in the sky," she answered. "Good thing it wasn't a spider though,"

"A spi...hey look, a dog!" Rachel glimpsed a stray dog slip its head back into an alley way. Immediately, she ran after it eagerly.

"Rachel! Wait!" her mother called after her, but she was already turning the corner at top speed.

"Come here little doggy!" she cooed after it. By the time she'd reached the alley, the animal had already hid among the trash cans. She still wanted to at least see it though.

"Here little doggy," she called to it again. Slowly, somewhat skiddishly, the stray stepped out of its hiding place and made its way over to the girl. Looking up at her, the dog sniffed the strange human before letting out a long, drawn-out yawn and walking away. With that, she giggled. "Aw!"

"Rachel, please don't take off like that," said her mother, a little worried. "You could get hurt,"

"I'm sorry mommy,"

With that, the two continued on and headed home.

* * *

><p>Soul couldn't believe it. Kid, Tsubaki, Liz and Patty couldn't believe it. Black*Star couldn't care less.<p>

Buried deep in the Shibusen library, sitting at opposite sides of a large table, stacked with books that probably weighed several pounds each, were Maka Albarn and Edward Elric, each with their nose in a book.

"How long have they been at this?" asked Tsubaki to Soul.

"Hours," he said. "I'm not sure how long it'll take before one of them has to pee or something,"

"If they've spent so much time reading...well, they are doing some kind of research, right?" Death the Kid said.

"Yeah, something about Fullmetal midget-guy -" before he could finish, Black*Star had a book slammed into his forehead so hard, it made a dent. The rest of the group looked over at a very pissed-off Edward Elric.

"Who are you calling a pint-sized midget pipsqueak who's so small you need a 40X microscope to see him you jerk?" Suddenly, he got a Maka-chop to the skull.

"Edward, be quiet! This is a library!" Maka hissed.

"Well you hitting me on the head wasn't very quiet!" Ed shot back, rubbing the rapidly-growing bump where he'd been hit.

"Okay, seriously? What are you two reading up on, anyway?" Liz said.

"I've been trying to learn all I can about this place," Ed explained.

"And I want to learn about this alchemy stuff," Maka added.

Soul and Black*Star rolled their eyes. "Nerds,"

"Well, how do you expect me to get back to where I came from unless I find out all I can, huh?"

Soul shrugged. "Okay...but seriously, what's your excuse Maka?"

"What? I just want to know about how alchemy works, that's all,"

"Could you get any geekier? How did I end up with you as a meister...?"

"Excuse me?"

With that, the whole group got into a full-blown argument that quickly turned into a fist-fight, complete with pinky-finger shooting from Death the Kid and Ed turning his arm into a blade. Suddenly...

"Um...what's going on?" asked a very perplexed Crona.

At that, everyone stopped in mid-move, with Death the Kid in a very _un_-symmetrical stance and Black*Star looking like he was about to give Maka an Indian burn, while she was inches from delivering him a kick to the groin. Edward was squashed underneath them, somehow. Soul, Tsubaki, Liz and Patty were in their weapon forms, but it still appeared awkward.

Just then, Sid came in to the scene. "What do you kids think you're doing? This is a library, not a sparring ring! You're all getting detention for this, is that understood?"

There was a collective groan from the kids.

"Oh, and by the way...Lord Death has an assignment for you, Soul and Maka. And Ed, Crona, you're coming too,"

* * *

><p>Roy stared at the pile of paperwork sitting on his desk, dreading having to fill it all out. Sighing heavily, he looked from the stack of papers to his ignition-cloth gloves, then quickly checked the door to see if anyone would notice.<p>

The door was closed. No one was looking.

With a snap of his fingers, Colonel Roy Mustang's dreaded paperwork was reduced to a smoky pile of flames. He smiled, leaned back in his seat...

...and set off the automatic smoke alarm.

"Aw crap," he muttered as the sharp beeping noises were immediately followed up with the sprinklers going off, leaving the Colonel absolutely soaked. That's when the door swung open.

"Yo! Roy!" Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes greeted before noticing the sprinklers raining down on a pouting Flame Alchemist.

"Hey," he said, frowning.

"Trying to get out of filling out paperwork, eh?"

"Geez Hughes! Not so loud! Do you want Riza to here about it too?"

"I could here the alarm go off from the other end of the hallway," said Hughes. "I think she already knows,"

"Great, just great,"

"Anyway," Hughes continued, whipping out another picture that Mustang could've sworn he'd already seen at least ten times. "My daughter Elicia is turning 3 this week! I just can't believe how fast my baby girl's growing up! I mean look at her! Isn't she just the cutest thing?"

"Hughes, I don't mean to sound rude, but I've already seen that picture before,"

"I know, but...you haven't seen this picture!" he pulled out another photo from his pocket, this time a family photo. "I'll tell you Roy, I've gotta be the luckiest guy to have a beautiful wife and daughter like them!"

Mustang pouted again, and then cracked a smile. "Heh, yeah, I think it's great that you love your family and all, but -"

Just then, Alphonse Elric came in.

"Colonel," said Al, "has there been anything on where Edward could be?"

"Al?" Roy and Hughes both weren't expecting him. They'd almost forgotten the issue with Ed going missing, but Roy suddenly got the feeling there was a connection with the disappearance of Fullmetal and his huge stack of paperwork.

"Sorry Alphonse, but we haven't been able to find any traces of him,"

Al dropped his eyes to the ground, depressed. At the sound of meowing came from his armor, he popped back up and blushed...well, he would've blushed if he wasn't a suit of armor.

"If it's any consolation Al, we've only just started looking. There's still a chance he'll turn up somewhere again," said Hughes.

Suddenly, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye stepped into the room.

_Why me?_ thought Roy.

"Colonel," Hawkeye began, arms crossed in front of her, a smile forming on her face. "I see the fire alarm system seems to be working,"

"Yeah,"

"Let me guess, you accidentally snapped your fingers with your gloves on again?"

"Yeah,"

"Did you get that paperwork done? Or are you still working on it?"

"Meow,"

Everyone turned to Al's randomly mewing suit of armor.

"Um...maybe I'll just go outside for a walk or something," he said, trying to slip out as quietly as he could.  
>Who knew he would miss having Ed tell him that he couldn't keep the stray cat he had just found so much? All the times he'd held his big brother back from trying to maul and maim someone who happened to call him small; bickering over drinking milk; even that, Al missed about his brother.<p>

_Could he somehow be still alive?_ he thought as the sound of soft purring traveled up his hollow body. What if, after reaching the inside of the laboratory, Edward had been caught by the people running it, and made into a Philosopher's Stone? Would that be possible? What if...

Alphonse got a sickening feeling in the pit of his gut. How could he go on if his brother had died? No, Edward had to be alive! He'd survived the failed human transmutation of their mother, and fought to save what he could of his brother; even with his left leg gone! He'd faced death before, hadn't he? No, there was no way Al's brother had died so suddenly.

And he was determined to find him. Even if that meant going back to the Fifth Laboratory.

* * *

><p>It wouldn't be her first choice for a new body, but this one would have to do.<p>

This young child, with her sandy blonde pigtails and grey-green eyes...all she had to do was wait.

Wait till her mom wasn't looking, and her guard let down. When she was most vulnerable, that was the moment in which the cobra would strike.

She waited, waited for that instant to get her chance...

...it came.

In a crazed blur, the girl was momentarily invaded and made a host to the snake.

Medusa had found a new body.

* * *

><p><strong>Dun-dun-dun! Plot twist! Yes, I put Rachel in the beginning just to scare you...sorry for the spoiler, for those of you who don't know about that part. But yeah, the next fight scene should be next chapter, if not the one after that. <strong>

**Anyways, please review this! **


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